We'll Decide Later

Once I was chatting to my friend in the foyer of our church in London when she brought up her summer plans and her desire to attend the Afro Nation festival (I know, I know). I had never been to Afro Nation but I was familiar enough with the concept of it to hold a conversation. That was until she stopped me saying,  Um, babe, it's actually 'Afro Nation' For you see, I had been referring to it as AFRONTATION.  Like I said, I had never been interested in the festival and had only heard people speak of it in passing. So I thought it was called "Afrontation" and that the auditory effect was just Britons speaking the way Brits speak. Boy, was I wrong! I am a brown-skinned person but on that spot, I blushed deep shades of scarlet, crimson and beet. My embarrassment was to the maximum! Which is weird considering that it was an honest mistake and my friend was utterly unfazed as she smoothly corrected me and moved on. But I kept on getting flashbacks to that moment of co...

Last week I was huddled over my computer at my office desk when a conversation filtered in through the lull of the music playing in my earphones. One of my colleagues, in describing the way his morning went, had said, "I took my bathe," and the office was in a light uproar over the blunder. They clowned him, as friends often do, and had a laugh at his expense. He took it like a champ.  But the incident forced me to think more deeply about why he made the mistake he did, especially knowing I had observed other people make the same mistake at different times. I myself struggled with it for a time. In Nigeria, it is common to hear people say: "I want to baff" "I want to bath" "I took my bathe" I thought it only right to confirm the correct expression and serve it up here.  _____________________________________________________________________________________ A bath is different from a shower. A shower   is an enclosure in your general bathroom area w...

Hello Dear Reader! Happy and Prosperous New Year! Allow me to introduce you to 2022, even though we're both meeting her for the first time She is energy, she is electricity, she is a do-over. I hope your 2022 is immeasurably better than 2021.  The super secret adventure I went on was 'getting married'. I'm sure a lot of you guessed that already, and if you didn't the world doesn't revolve around me so, on y va! I'm writing this as a way to check in after my prolonged break. Also, I got a new laptop charger so baby it's on! You'll hear from me more. I was falling asleep while writing this, so bear with me. I just needed to touch base today. Thank you babes and babettes! Till next time,  arrivederci !

Well, first the practical bits. I don't like wearing weaves or wigs or anything that sits too close to my scalp. My scalp needs to be breathe at all times. The closest I can come to a wig is hats. Now to the deeper reasons. "Yours is the only hair that rises up to kiss the sun" One of the greatest reasons for my refusal to wear weaves is that they are used, like many fashion accessories, to hide rather than enhance. Most wig wearers would be mortified to be seen without their weaves. They wear the weaves to hide and conceal something they think to be 'not good enough' and I stand firmly opposite to that perspective at all times. Most weaves are created to be European textured hair. That's not to say that there aren't afro wigs or braided wigs but generally when you hear of wigs and weaves, you think of type 1 or 2 hair with no curls or very loose curls. Doubtless, there exists a societal standard of beauty and social presentation that leans toward European...

"You cannot confine change to only one area of your life" One of the reasons we tire so soon of the dedication we make to improvement is that we overwhelm ourselves by taking on too much too soon; we try to make drastic changes- utter 180 degree turns without concession. Because we haven't built up the muscle or discipline to maintain such changes, we inevitably fail. Such woeful failures quickly build up until we're disillusioned and less inclined to try. 1. Your 1+1 Really Equals 2 A much better way would be to improve in small increments, exchanging our worst vices for less severe vices until all our bad habits are slowly phased out.  2. Spring Clean your House for Change Another tip is to slowly make your life a more conducive environment to improvement. One way to do this is to commit to making better choices all around. Remember that the aim is to make slow progress as quickly as possible. You need to recognise that progress is rarely isolated. You cannot confin...

When it comes to self-improvement and the help you’re likely to encounter from society along the way, the truth is that we often meet those opportunities with a grain of salt because there is an element of untruth to the kind of human saviour who only announces themselves perfect and refined, after the work of improvement has been done. As a mentor or motivational speaker, your entry argument, the stage upon which you stood when you coaxed your audience's attention and respect, was the similarity of your story to theirs. Don’t you think your work would be more effective if you allowed your mentees to see you in your actual struggles therefore? As long as your commitment to improvement is not superficial, you can rightfully make that accommodation, which doubles as an opportunity for voluntary self-exercise (or discipline). You'll be just as astute in the presence of speculation as without, wouldn’t you? So what does it matter if they watch? Especially since their observance of...