The Counter-Productiveness of Failing Privately

When it comes to self-improvement and the help you’re likely to encounter from society along the way, the truth is that we often meet those opportunities with a grain of salt because there is an element of untruth to the kind of human saviour who only announces themselves perfect and refined, after the work of improvement has been done.

As a mentor or motivational speaker, your entry argument, the stage upon which you stood when you coaxed your audience's attention and respect, was the similarity of your story to theirs. Don’t you think your work would be more effective if you allowed your mentees to see you in your actual struggles therefore?

As long as your commitment to improvement is not superficial, you can rightfully make that accommodation, which doubles as an opportunity for voluntary self-exercise (or discipline).

You'll be just as astute in the presence of speculation as without, wouldn’t you? So what does it matter if they watch? Especially since their observance of your exemplary walk would surely catalyse results amongst your audience. Could it be your pride? The desire to be regarded as perfect? Or were you planning to sneak off the wagon along the way with none the wiser?

What could be more radical and sweepingly effective than a coach who mentors you in spite of their imperfection and on their journey to improvement? Teaching you that it's okay to not be perfect but to still be your best in the midst of the journey.

Our commitment should after all always be to the truth, not to any particular person, image or perception. There is an inherent un-trustability toward mentors who come fully packaged, not because it’s impossible that improvement occurred wholly and completely in the past, but rather because of the seemingly absolute percentage of mentors who come all packaged and done (only to crash and burn spectacularly down the line).

The truth is that even if a leader’s commitment to the cause of self-improvement is solid in his mind, he still understands the possibility of failing occasionally. He doesn't want to do that in the presence of an audience.

We all want to fail privately; it’s the dignified way to do it. But it’s a catastrophic outlook. It’s the way that ensures that all others that come behind us crash and burn at that same spot that we did, then have to pick up and nurse themselves through the pain. It makes for a world of limping and traumatised adults for you to contend with.

I would like to listen to a Pastor who is in a wheelchair and watch his journey to complete healing as he recovers the use of his legs again. I want to see a living example. The apostle Paul of the Bible didn’t admonish people to be committed to the gospel until the end without several attempts on his own life.

I want to hear a life coach who is still struggling with pornography addiction. Let’s have some real honesty and truth, and let’s see the answers practically put to work in your own life, Leader.

Now I’m not naïve; I know all the reasons that this is a bad idea. I’m just saying it might be worth considering how combustibly effective ‘help’ will become if it comes with some level of honesty and vulnerability.