We'll Decide Later

Once I was chatting to my friend in the foyer of our church in London when she brought up her summer plans and her desire to attend the Afro Nation festival (I know, I know). I had never been to Afro Nation but I was familiar enough with the concept of it to hold a conversation. That was until she stopped me saying,  Um, babe, it's actually 'Afro Nation' For you see, I had been referring to it as AFRONTATION.  Like I said, I had never been interested in the festival and had only heard people speak of it in passing. So I thought it was called "Afrontation" and that the auditory effect was just Britons speaking the way Brits speak. Boy, was I wrong! I am a brown-skinned person but on that spot, I blushed deep shades of scarlet, crimson and beet. My embarrassment was to the maximum! Which is weird considering that it was an honest mistake and my friend was utterly unfazed as she smoothly corrected me and moved on. But I kept on getting flashbacks to that moment of co...

Last week I was huddled over my computer at my office desk when a conversation filtered in through the lull of the music playing in my earphones. One of my colleagues, in describing the way his morning went, had said, "I took my bathe," and the office was in a light uproar over the blunder. They clowned him, as friends often do, and had a laugh at his expense. He took it like a champ.  But the incident forced me to think more deeply about why he made the mistake he did, especially knowing I had observed other people make the same mistake at different times. I myself struggled with it for a time. In Nigeria, it is common to hear people say: "I want to baff" "I want to bath" "I took my bathe" I thought it only right to confirm the correct expression and serve it up here.  _____________________________________________________________________________________ A bath is different from a shower. A shower   is an enclosure in your general bathroom area w...

"You cannot confine change to only one area of your life" One of the reasons we tire so soon of the dedication we make to improvement is that we overwhelm ourselves by taking on too much too soon; we try to make drastic changes- utter 180 degree turns without concession. Because we haven't built up the muscle or discipline to maintain such changes, we inevitably fail. Such woeful failures quickly build up until we're disillusioned and less inclined to try. 1. Your 1+1 Really Equals 2 A much better way would be to improve in small increments, exchanging our worst vices for less severe vices until all our bad habits are slowly phased out.  2. Spring Clean your House for Change Another tip is to slowly make your life a more conducive environment to improvement. One way to do this is to commit to making better choices all around. Remember that the aim is to make slow progress as quickly as possible. You need to recognise that progress is rarely isolated. You cannot confin...

"...Acceptance is the key to being truly free," in the wise words of Katy Perry. Think of all the times in your life when you have been victimised by situations which you had no control over, held at ransom by powers without your jurisdiction? Often in life, we subject ourselves to the cruelty of being at the mercy of offices outside of our control, yet we act responsible for them. In my life, I've had times when I was down in the dumps as a direct result of someone else's actions, taking upon myself the full weight of responsibility for their actions. What would have really helped me in those moments was to know, nay, to accept, that things were the way they were and I had no real power to change anything but my response. But I waste so much times negotiating and bargaining, kicking at immovable rocks while neglecting the little pebbles gathered at my feet. What I fail to realise is that in those pebbles, I have a mountain. I just have to do the deep work of first ac...

Life is a collage of small decisions. Every thought, every moment; all ticking toward the final score. Life is like a giant snowball rolling through snowy lawns of minor choices. This is a great thing. It means development. Free will is a tool of great advancement. Humans could only ever evolve and get better; that was our eventual outcome. Our social nature as humans has great influence on behaviour. All it takes is seeing one person do it and then we know we can do it too. That first person is usually an unintending pioneer, which we all are in little ways. This is why it's so important to be mindful of our actions. By the things we do, we give people permission to do likewise. "I'm nobody's role model." But you're a forerunner, an example; a veritable reference! People have looked at you and thought, "If he did it then it's fine" They've heard you respond and said, "I too will answer like that next time" These decisions are usual...

You know why beach naps are so great? The polarising effects of cool wind and warm sun exposure does wonderfully relaxing things to the body. In much the same way, when we go through adverse times, the piss-cocktail inadvertently brings out the best in us if we let it. Don’t be so scared of adverse times. (some of my best naps have been taken on beaches and I will be a beach nap advocate until my last) Now to the main topic Inasmuch as we live in a capitalist society, we might as well draw a leaf from America's book. Americans, and therefore America as a whole, are not shy about presenting themselves to everyone else. They think they've got something great and they want you to think and see it too. One wonders if they ever entertain the idea that you might not be interested. They just create and show. That's been one of their greatest differentiations as a nation, as well as the uninhibited manner in which they 'show'. They are 'obviously American'. I'm ...