Why I Refuse to Wear Wigs/Weaves

Well, first the practical bits. I don't like wearing weaves or wigs or anything that sits too close to my scalp. My scalp needs to be breathe at all times. The closest I can come to a wig is hats.

Now to the deeper reasons.

"Yours is the only hair that rises up to kiss the sun"

One of the greatest reasons for my refusal to wear weaves is that they are used, like many fashion accessories, to hide rather than enhance. Most wig wearers would be mortified to be seen without their weaves. They wear the weaves to hide and conceal something they think to be 'not good enough' and I stand firmly opposite to that perspective at all times.

Most weaves are created to be European textured hair. That's not to say that there aren't afro wigs or braided wigs but generally when you hear of wigs and weaves, you think of type 1 or 2 hair with no curls or very loose curls. Doubtless, there exists a societal standard of beauty and social presentation that leans toward European features and I stand one hundred percent against that too. I think that everyone should embrace who they are, wholeheartedly.

In my life, I have been told to brush my hair and tame my edges. I've been told that my hair looks like kindling for a fire; my hair has been compared to a bird's nest. All sorts! And the worst of it all is that these things were said smilingly to a younger and impressionable me by well-meaning friends and family members.

Statements like these create the impression that 'black-textured' hair is unkempt, unruly, unprofessional, unpresentable and just not good enough for certain occasions but that's just not true! I honestly believe that there is no better hair than that which grows out of my scalp, and I will not give ground to such identity-destroying beliefs, not even an inch.

A lot of ladies would never be caught dead on a date with their natural hair out. They've been told that they need to relax and control their hair for it to be acceptable, and that unfortunate lie is the engine behind the massive global hair industry.

Black girls are taught that for special occasions, their hair must be relaxed or covered with wigs/weaves.

I'm all for having personal preferences, but I would like to encourage each person to really consider their reasons and motives. It is great to think that bone straight Peruvian hair or a Brazilian body wave weave is beautiful because it is! But don't hold that belief at the detriment of your own type of beauty.

Black girls are taught from very young ages that while their weaving and didi might be ideal for everyday inconsequential public appearances like going to school, special occasions must see their hair relaxed and 'tamed' or covered with wigs and weaves.

I denounce and decry that stance. Your hair, black girl, can do something that other hair textures can only dream about. You can apply heat and certain treatments to your hair and have it imitate 'European' hair but there is absolutely nothing, short of wearing a wig/weave, that a straight-haired person can do to get an afro. Don't relegate yourself when you are the blueprint!

Intentionally or circumstantially, most Africans have believed the lie that we are not enough or that we must constantly be trying to reach a certain type of beauty to be acceptable. It's there in the weaves, false eye lashes, skin bleaching, coloured contact lenses, over-contouring to achieve a slimmer nose, etc. Stop judging yourself and others like you by standards that you are genetically and realistically excluded from!

challenge those mental and societal strongholds that stand in the way of grace toward yourself

Think about this: if you tried to judge a European by African standards of beauty, don't you think that they too would fail woefully? How many white people have you seen with natural wide hips, strong noses, full lush lips, hair that rises up to kiss the sun, etc.? My guess is zero. So if you were to judge caucasians by the original African standard, they would come in last. But we know that caucasians are not ugly- only different.

And that difference is beautiful and should be celebrated. To do otherwise would eventually lead to one of 2 extremes: self-hate or racism (or any of its other close relatives: texturism, colourism, featurism, etc.) Neither of those options serves any good.

So while I'm not asking you to burn all your straight weaves and never contour your nose again, I would like to encourage you to make the commitment to do a deep work on yourself. Take an honest look. Why do you do the things you do? Do you truly accept and appreciate yourself? If you find that the answer is no, which little steps will you start taking to challenging those mental and societal strongholds that stand in the way of grace toward yourself? You should appreciate yourself.

You really should, because beauty is you.