Acceptance is the Key-

"...Acceptance is the key to being truly free," in the wise words of Katy Perry.

Think of all the times in your life when you have been victimised by situations which you had no control over, held at ransom by powers without your jurisdiction? Often in life, we subject ourselves to the cruelty of being at the mercy of offices outside of our control, yet we act responsible for them.

In my life, I've had times when I was down in the dumps as a direct result of someone else's actions, taking upon myself the full weight of responsibility for their actions. What would have really helped me in those moments was to know, nay, to accept, that things were the way they were and I had no real power to change anything but my response.

But I waste so much times negotiating and bargaining, kicking at immovable rocks while neglecting the little pebbles gathered at my feet. What I fail to realise is that in those pebbles, I have a mountain. I just have to do the deep work of first accepting that I cannot move the mountain and that's okay.

Stoicism trades internal turmoil for external actions.
If there's something to be done about what's causing you worry, you do it. Straightaway.

When I was younger, I was an expert at this. I was a stoic of stoics by nature and by improvement, I didn't belabour immutable things. I understood, accepted and embraced my own limitations. It was not a failure to be limited, just a fact of life. Nowadays, life is so complicated that I see how easily one can slip from stoicism to cynicism and I never want to be that person.

However, I'll live a much happier and settled life if I went back to acceptance; not apathy or passivity but mindful acceptance. Doing the best that with what lies within my power and then being open to whatever comes after because I can't stop it anyway.

I used to wonder why grown-ups worried all the time about things I considered silly since they couldn't change their outcomes, but that really creeps up on you. Another deterrent to stoicism is that it forces you to be a stand up person. You cannot be a sloppy stoic- you'll possibly implode from the starkness of life if you are.

Stoicism favours action; quick correction. I could be in bed worrying that I haven't ironed my work clothes for tomorrow or I could get up and iron them now, eliminating the worry. Stoicism trades internal turmoil for external actions. If there's something to be done about what's causing you worry, you do it. Straightaway.

But that requires discipline, self-sacrifice, self-control, delayed gratification, forgone alternatives, etc. It requires you to find fulfillment not in a future promised result but in the present action; embracing life as a journey and not a destination. That's tough and that takes grit. That's the challenge and that's my re-commitment and resolution.