We'll Decide Later

Meandering through life like a winding stream, I came upon a plain of wonderful delights and realised with much surprise that my leisurely trek had spanned 3 glorious decades. I turn 30 in a few days! What an awesome privilege to have walked this floating ball of wonder for 30 wondorous years. 30 years of delighting my parents' hearts; 30 years of skinny ankles that have always supported my full bodyweight; 30 years of a strong mind that shoots out creativity like a prism; 30 years and 3 magnificent 'decade balls'; 30 years of falling headlong into the beautiful, complicated, frustrating enigma that is me. In honour of my 30th, I have decided to write down 30 ragtag facts about me. Things I find beautiful I think it is only right to begin this list with the beauty that I see in life. 1. Babies. When I see a child, I see a lovely little blank slate, perpetually drunk on life and joy. The dangerous curiosity, the unquenchable desire for learning, the unreserved smile, the una...

Once I was chatting to my friend in the foyer of our church in London when she brought up her summer plans and her desire to attend the Afro Nation festival (I know, I know). I had never been to Afro Nation but I was familiar enough with the concept of it to hold a conversation. That was until she stopped me saying,  Um, babe, it's actually 'Afro Nation' For you see, I had been referring to it as AFRONTATION.  Like I said, I had never been interested in the festival and had only heard people speak of it in passing. So I thought it was called "Afrontation" and that the auditory effect was just Britons speaking the way Brits speak. Boy, was I wrong! I am a brown-skinned person but on that spot, I blushed deep shades of scarlet, crimson and beet. My embarrassment was to the maximum! Which is weird considering that it was an honest mistake and my friend was utterly unfazed as she smoothly corrected me and moved on. But I kept on getting flashbacks to that moment of co...

Last week I was huddled over my computer at my office desk when a conversation filtered in through the lull of the music playing in my earphones. One of my colleagues, in describing the way his morning went, had said, "I took my bathe," and the office was in a light uproar over the blunder. They clowned him, as friends often do, and had a laugh at his expense. He took it like a champ.  But the incident forced me to think more deeply about why he made the mistake he did, especially knowing I had observed other people make the same mistake at different times. I myself struggled with it for a time. In Nigeria, it is common to hear people say: "I want to baff" "I want to bath" "I took my bathe" I thought it only right to confirm the correct expression and serve it up here.  _____________________________________________________________________________________ A bath is different from a shower. A shower   is an enclosure in your general bathroom area w...

Hello Dear Reader! Happy and Prosperous New Year! Allow me to introduce you to 2022, even though we're both meeting her for the first time She is energy, she is electricity, she is a do-over. I hope your 2022 is immeasurably better than 2021.  The super secret adventure I went on was 'getting married'. I'm sure a lot of you guessed that already, and if you didn't the world doesn't revolve around me so, on y va! I'm writing this as a way to check in after my prolonged break. Also, I got a new laptop charger so baby it's on! You'll hear from me more. I was falling asleep while writing this, so bear with me. I just needed to touch base today. Thank you babes and babettes! Till next time,  arrivederci !

Well, first the practical bits. I don't like wearing weaves or wigs or anything that sits too close to my scalp. My scalp needs to be breathe at all times. The closest I can come to a wig is hats. Now to the deeper reasons. "Yours is the only hair that rises up to kiss the sun" One of the greatest reasons for my refusal to wear weaves is that they are used, like many fashion accessories, to hide rather than enhance. Most wig wearers would be mortified to be seen without their weaves. They wear the weaves to hide and conceal something they think to be 'not good enough' and I stand firmly opposite to that perspective at all times. Most weaves are created to be European textured hair. That's not to say that there aren't afro wigs or braided wigs but generally when you hear of wigs and weaves, you think of type 1 or 2 hair with no curls or very loose curls. Doubtless, there exists a societal standard of beauty and social presentation that leans toward European...

"You cannot confine change to only one area of your life" One of the reasons we tire so soon of the dedication we make to improvement is that we overwhelm ourselves by taking on too much too soon; we try to make drastic changes- utter 180 degree turns without concession. Because we haven't built up the muscle or discipline to maintain such changes, we inevitably fail. Such woeful failures quickly build up until we're disillusioned and less inclined to try. 1. Your 1+1 Really Equals 2 A much better way would be to improve in small increments, exchanging our worst vices for less severe vices until all our bad habits are slowly phased out.  2. Spring Clean your House for Change Another tip is to slowly make your life a more conducive environment to improvement. One way to do this is to commit to making better choices all around. Remember that the aim is to make slow progress as quickly as possible. You need to recognise that progress is rarely isolated. You cannot confin...

When it comes to self-improvement and the help you’re likely to encounter from society along the way, the truth is that we often meet those opportunities with a grain of salt because there is an element of untruth to the kind of human saviour who only announces themselves perfect and refined, after the work of improvement has been done. As a mentor or motivational speaker, your entry argument, the stage upon which you stood when you coaxed your audience's attention and respect, was the similarity of your story to theirs. Don’t you think your work would be more effective if you allowed your mentees to see you in your actual struggles therefore? As long as your commitment to improvement is not superficial, you can rightfully make that accommodation, which doubles as an opportunity for voluntary self-exercise (or discipline). You'll be just as astute in the presence of speculation as without, wouldn’t you? So what does it matter if they watch? Especially since their observance of...

This past weekend, I travelled by train from Lagos to Abeokuta and back again. It was exciting and I had a grand time! On my train on the way back, I had an experience that has left an impact on me. There was a fracas relating to tickets (I believe the train attendants sold more tickets than there were seats on the train; more on that later). As a result, I had to sit on a seat other than the one assigned to me, between 2 people, one of whom had a little baby. Scarcely had I sat for up to 2 minutes before said baby starts cooing at me, reaching doggedly for my phone, smiling drooling smiles at me and being so darn adorable. I loooove babies and am always excited to play with them, but this day I would have rather just stayed on my phone and taken my Duolingo course to wind down. But the baby kept reaching for me and when a baby reaches for you, you drop what you're doing and pick them up. It's the law. So with permission from her mum, I took my new friend Erioluwa in my arms a...

Hello, my lovely readers! I hope you're all well and being your best selves. I'm just popping in briefly to announce that I will be taking a break from blogging for now. That's because I'm having to do a considerable amount of preparing, including travelling, as my 'major life event' draws closer. Couple that with my current lack of a laptop and you'll see that I cannot realistically deliver on posting daily for now. Sad. This isn't to say that I won't be posting at all: far from it! I have loved writing these blogs and I look forward to coming back to writing when my circumstances are a bit more stable. Thanks for sticking around! My next post will probably be on Monday (3 days from now). Until then, be well, drink water, wash your hands and do good things. PS: Immense thanks for your comments on my last blog! I asked and you gave. Mindblown! Toodles! 

The curious thing about consistency is that it must be maintained sequentially or run the risk of being broken. To be consistent, you have to be consistent. I haven't written a blog post every single day like I initially said I would, and it's been conflicting for me to decide between establishing a realistic writing routine or just powering through my initial declaration regardless of feasibility. My unnecessarily vague "technical difficulties" is just my laptop having packed up on me and my struggling with my writing commitment. Also, I'm in the middle of a major life event right now, which is which I can't write on the weekends since that's really the only free time I have. The very great thing about this entire exercise is that it has been a great activity in discipline and consistency. It's only been about 2 weeks but I feel the good habit muscles getting stronger already. And the effect ripples into other areas of my life. It's great. Remembe...

Hello, my dear readers! I missed the past 2 days of blogging. It's because it was the weekend. What I have resolved to do is not blog on the weekend for the foreseeable future. That's because I'm still experiencing technical difficulties (I haven't yet decided if I want to keep obnoxiously calling it that or just tell you what it is but it's connected to a bigger issue so this will do for now). The other reason is that I'm genuinely gonna be busy until the end of the year, as silly an excuse as I realise that seems. So, where are we? I think we're due for an update. It's been about 2 weeks since I made the commitment to daily journalling and I'll tell you that I've seen improvement already.  I am feeling more clear-headed, the 'flow' of writing is coming easier, ideas are flowing (that hasn't really been an issue) and I am developing the muscles needed to see them to fruition. It's rapturous! As a matter of fact, I'm also bett...

"...Acceptance is the key to being truly free," in the wise words of Katy Perry. Think of all the times in your life when you have been victimised by situations which you had no control over, held at ransom by powers without your jurisdiction? Often in life, we subject ourselves to the cruelty of being at the mercy of offices outside of our control, yet we act responsible for them. In my life, I've had times when I was down in the dumps as a direct result of someone else's actions, taking upon myself the full weight of responsibility for their actions. What would have really helped me in those moments was to know, nay, to accept, that things were the way they were and I had no real power to change anything but my response. But I waste so much times negotiating and bargaining, kicking at immovable rocks while neglecting the little pebbles gathered at my feet. What I fail to realise is that in those pebbles, I have a mountain. I just have to do the deep work of first ac...

Life is a collage of small decisions. Every thought, every moment; all ticking toward the final score. Life is like a giant snowball rolling through snowy lawns of minor choices. This is a great thing. It means development. Free will is a tool of great advancement. Humans could only ever evolve and get better; that was our eventual outcome. Our social nature as humans has great influence on behaviour. All it takes is seeing one person do it and then we know we can do it too. That first person is usually an unintending pioneer, which we all are in little ways. This is why it's so important to be mindful of our actions. By the things we do, we give people permission to do likewise. "I'm nobody's role model." But you're a forerunner, an example; a veritable reference! People have looked at you and thought, "If he did it then it's fine" They've heard you respond and said, "I too will answer like that next time" These decisions are usual...

And he took him by the right hand, and lifted him up: and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength. Acts 3:7 KJV His feet and ankle bones receives strength only after pressure was placed on them. Some might say that things had 'gone bad' but at the last possible moment the Lord infused strength into his feet and ankles. God came through in the eleventh hour as He is prone to do. What that says is that we should be truly committed to our faith, ready to hold on to the end. A lot of us start out in faith but don't endure in faith. We have faith in the beginning but then we're beset with a few hindrances and all of a sudden, we're considering other options. We must be like Abraham, ready to pierce his son through the heart in faith toward God. We have to have extreme faith, no Plan B. We must trust Him unreservedly. Then will we see the miracle of God astonish our situation and turn all our tears into triumphs, erasing the memory of the temporary hardship...

I come bearing updates! I officially missed days 6&7 of my journalling commitment, sorry if you missed me. The bad news is that I'm experiencing technical difficulties; the good news is that I didn't fall off due to any fault of my own. I am in the process of dealing with the issue and then I'll get back on track. So, where are we?

You know why beach naps are so great? The polarising effects of cool wind and warm sun exposure does wonderfully relaxing things to the body. In much the same way, when we go through adverse times, the piss-cocktail inadvertently brings out the best in us if we let it. Don’t be so scared of adverse times. (some of my best naps have been taken on beaches and I will be a beach nap advocate until my last) Now to the main topic Inasmuch as we live in a capitalist society, we might as well draw a leaf from America's book. Americans, and therefore America as a whole, are not shy about presenting themselves to everyone else. They think they've got something great and they want you to think and see it too. One wonders if they ever entertain the idea that you might not be interested. They just create and show. That's been one of their greatest differentiations as a nation, as well as the uninhibited manner in which they 'show'. They are 'obviously American'. I'm ...

  Today is almost gone but guess who's checking in. Yay for progress! This entry is coming in late and will be brief but that's because I've had a freaking busy day and this is the first free moments I've had. But you know what's a definite sign on progress to me? When I remembered that today's entry hadn't been made, I didn't resort to excuses or decide to skip today on the valid reason that I don't want to put out a subpar entry. Instead, I took a breath, remembered why I decided to start this in the first place, and recalled the commitment I made to myself regarding consistency. So I got up, padded barefoot across the cold bare tiles, got my computer, and here we are! I cheers to that! Well done me. Mettle is tested in adversity, and I'll say I passed today's test! Lesson learnt: the timing and circumstances may not be right but you can still do everything within your power. That's your choice, that's your will and that's your ...

You know what’s sure to make a person sober up and get serious? The realisation that everything you’ve been given in life is a gift to be shared with others or used for other people’s benefit. We are more stewards than owners, and where there is stewardship, there is required accountability. Your testimony is not for only you to rejoice in- someone else probably desperately needs the encouragement. Your talents aren’t just for you. Your insights aren’t for only you to enjoy. Your work isn’t for you alone. You must go out and disseminate your God-given gifts to the world around you; that’s how we find true meaning in life. Now for a person like me who has struggled with reconciling their internal and external environments, this isn’t likely to be a walk in the park but it’s one worth taking if I truly desire to see my internal ideas and visions come to external fruition. And I do. As do you! This all brings to bear the importance of progress and consistency. Great progress typically com...

  It’s just the second day and I almost defaulted but I pulled myself up, and here we are with a brand new entry for day 2! Smashing! Today I score for consistency more than anything else. /Tomorrow we go again.

If I actually grow the balls to go through with this, it will be an epic moment for me, a right stake in the ground! For me to bare myself like this to whomever is more than I can imagine but good things don’t come easy, right? LOL So guys, the aim of this is essentially to humiliate myself into improvement, haha! Not really but let’s say I’m trying a different approach to getting befitting productivity from myself. I am a person who is full of great lofty ideas but can never back it up with the appropriate action to yield discernible fruit. In order words, I combine perfectionism and procrastination (cause? effect?) in a deadly cocktail and dine on it every moment of my life. As a result, not much gets done around here. This creates -or emphasises- a catastrophic duality in me: always wanting, never taking! The only thing worse than the wars of these rival tormentors is their cooperation! On top of it all, I really really value my privacy. It’s a bag of bad lots. I am a self-denier, I...